From Ladettes to Leaders: "Middle Class Women of a Certain Age"

The Catalyst

The recent Gregg Wallace saga has reopened a conversation many of us thought we’d left in the 90s. Wallace’s dismissal of inappropriate behaviour as harmless "banter" and his victim-blaming rhetoric hit a nerve—not just because of what he said but because of how familiar it feels. For those of us who started our careers in male-dominated sectors, this wasn’t an anomaly. It was the air we breathed.

The 90s: Normalising the Unacceptable

As young women, we didn’t consent to or deserve the harassment we experienced, but it became part of our daily reality. We were told it was "just how things are". The so-called "banter" was everywhere - lewd comments, groping, catcalling, and public humiliation dressed up as humour.

How did we respond? We didn’t call it out. Instead, we either ignored it or played along, giving as good as we got. This coping mechanism was so widespread that the media coined a term for it: "ladette." It described young women who drank hard, partied hard, and refused to conform to traditional expectations of women as homemakers. We wore it like armour, but looking back, it was a defence mechanism against a toxic environment.

From Ladettes to Leaders

And now? Those same "misbehaved young women" have grown into those “middle-class women of a certain” age victim blamed by Wallace. Many of us are now leaders, managers, and mentors in our workplaces. We’ve left behind the 90s and its attitudes, growing as individuals and professionals. Society, too, has moved forward in many ways, yet the shadows of that era linger.

Learning to Have the Conversation

When I discuss this topic with "men of a certain age," I try to approach it non-confrontationally. It’s not about blaming all men for the actions of a few, but about creating space for understanding and change.

One question often cuts through the defences: Would you be upset if your daughter, granddaughter, or niece were subjected to the behaviour you’ve observed - or perhaps even participated in - over the years?

For some, "banter" might seem harmless, but workplaces aren’t friendship groups. You can’t assume how someone will perceive a joke, especially if you don’t know their personal history. A seemingly light-hearted comment can hit like a dagger for someone who has faced abuse or struggles with low self-esteem. The safest, kindest option? Just don’t go there.

Moving Forward: A Call for Accountability

So here’s my take:

• No to workplace banter that knowingly oversteps professional boundaries.

• No to judging people without giving them a chance to reflect and change.

• And definitely no to dinosaurs like Gregg Wallace, who double down on victim-blaming and wouldn’t recognise a sincere apology if it smacked them in the face.

  
  

From Reflection to Action

We’ve come a long way since the 90s, but this isn’t about nostalgia or rehashing old wounds. It’s about learning, growing, and ensuring that the environments we create now are better than the ones we endured. For those of us who lived through it, it’s about taking back our right to be respected - not just as young women navigating male-dominated workplaces, but as people. And it’s about paving the way for a future where no one has to wear armour just to go to work.